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Beneath the Covers,Past
A Romance Column
By Carol Ann Culbert Johnson

Romance for the Plus-Size Woman

Romance is the evolution of power between a man and a woman. You can read about it in magazines, romance novels, on television and in movies. Who doesn’t love a good romance? We all want to fall in love, and live that happily ever after romance zone. Why not?

In reality, romance is a myth, or is it? I believe in romance, and the reunion of a man and woman finding love in all the right places. Someone told me that “women and men have to go through a bunch of losers to find their winners.” Another friend of mine said that, “there’s someone out there for everyone, and we have to be quiet and listen.” Do we all believe this myth?

I do, of course. I know my mate might be right around the corner, but what about the generation of plus-size women? Do we have a chance of finding love? Are overweight women living in a dream world of make believe? I have been told that, “men want meat on the bones.” This is true of some men, but where are they?

I am a woman who gets up every morning and go to work. I noticed that there are more big women than smaller women. I see this conclusion all the time at my job in a clinic. I see heavy women with children and men by their side. This puts a smile on my face. I even saw a couple yesterday, on the most popular show on television, “American Idol.” This episode showcased a couple of African-American descent, who was auditioning together for a chance to be on television and make their singing dreams come true.

Fortunately, the couple was very affectionate toward each other, but neither one could sing, and that was a shame. I fell in love with them because of their commitment to each other. The woman was short and very overweight, and the man was stout, and built, not fat, but tall. He was in love with his woman, and told Ryan Seacrest, the host of “American Idol,” that they would be getting married. I thought this was an absolutely beautiful moment. He focused on this woman’s crest from the inside and not so much on the outside, and he loved her for who she was, and not for her outside shell. This is the kind of man any woman would want to meet.

Larger women are human beings, with a lot of meat on their bones; and some with a few meat on their frame. We go to work, party, and fall in love, dream of having children and getting married. We want it all, and why shouldn’t we have it? Men are superficial, and this is the reason why there are respectful and loving plus-size women out there searching for a good man.

We are loving women, and very good in bed, to say the least. Most of us are faithful to their men, and only want the chance to show a man what we have to offer. We are the entire package and then some. Looks are so superficial, also, and men miss out on perfection; geared to skinny women with no meat on their bones, looking like skeletons out of a closet, and anorexic.

Of course the media, and society, not to mention television is active about the role of women being to skinny. It’s a major issue of women starving themselves to death to model, and some actually dying to be skinny. A recent media event was the assault with words on Tyra Banks. She gained a little weight, and the media was having a field day on a former model who had to be troubled with the image of being skinny to make her modeling dreams come true.

If Tyra Banks gained the weight, and she’s still not overweight by a long shot, who cares? I believe it’s the fact that here is a successful African-American woman, and the bias attitudes can’t stand it, so let’s find something to ridicule her, and bring her down to a shamble of nothing.

Ms. Banks got her revenge by wearing the swimsuit on her talk show, and setting the record straight. I admire her more than ever for making this stance to the world. If she’s happy with her body, and gaining the weight, then more power to her. She’s not a model any longer, and now she can eat what she wants to eat, and not worry about adding the pounds on her photos or in fashion shows. Tyra Banks is gorgeous, and she’s a role model for me.

So we have to learn to love our bodies the way they are, and then if we want to lose weight, the weight will pour off. I have friends who are holding out for a good man, and a few who are happily married. Of course there are a number of us who are waiting for a Christian man, a respectful man, a loving man, a romantic man, a sweet man, an independent man, a man who is the bomb, a man who has it going on, a man who believes in love and marriage, and a man who is unconditional. A man with all these qualities, a plus-size woman will have the chance to find love and romance through the tunnel of love.

A plus-size woman has it going on all over the place and then some. Romance comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and just snap your finger, pray like you’ve never prayed before, and close and open your eyes, and soon your prince charming, soul-mate and happily ever after will be dialing up your seven digits, ringing that doorbell, on his knees proposing marriage, and at the altar, saying “I Do.” What a fantastic and romantic thought!

I see my comrade right around my corner of love. I really do!

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