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INTO THE TANGLE OF FRIENDSHIP What makes two people become friends? Just what is a friend? Humans need and want relationships beyond the bounds of family. But how do we decide who will share our lives? How do we choose friends or be chosen as a friend? What makes some people lifelong friends, while other friendships don't last? These are the questions Beth Kephart set out to answer as she examined the friends in her own life, as well as in the lives of her son, husband, mother and mother-in-law. Her son, Jeremy, has a friend named James that he has known since kindergarten. James, though he now goes to a different school, still remains Jeremy's friend. Together, their imaginations take them all over the world and beyond in ways they could never travel alone. They share a unique bond. Both are above average in intelligence and very creative. This allows them to enjoy each other's companionship beyond the realm of schoolyard acquaintanceship. Jeremy has other friends he visits or that visit him, but James is the friend he has had the longest, and the friend he will probably always have, no matter what. Ms. Kephart also examines a friendship she began in high school. She and Joanne were best friends, sharing everything. There was nothing that Beth could not, indeed, did not tell Joanne. Even all the details of Beth's schoolgirl crush on a high school runner were bared to Joanne. They remained close, until Joanne went to the prom with the boy Beth "loved." Beth felt that Joanne knew how she felt and had betrayed her. It didn't matter that the boy didn't even know Beth was alive and that Beth had told Joanne he wasn't interested. She broke off the friendship, an act she came to regret. Years later, Beth thought to rekindle the friendship, but she had moved from the old neighborhood and so had Joanne. There was no way to find her friend, so she didn't think about it again until she received a call from a Joanne Lang. The caller didn't leave a number, so Beth again forgot about it. But Joanne called again, and Beth found Joanne's parents lived on the same street Beth lived on, less than a mile down the road. For years, Beth had been close by and never known they were there, or that Joanne visited them frequently. One day, Joanne's father saw Beth's name in the paper and sent the article to Joanne. Since both were now happily married, Joanne took a chance and called Beth. The friendship was reborn, and they remain friends to this day. But how do we identify the sparks of friendship? There is no hard and fast rule to follow in choosing friends or telling which friends will always be friends. Sometimes we have a great deal in common with another person, but that doesn’t mean he or she will be our friend. Sometimes our closest friends turn out to be those who are our opposites. In any case, it is our friends that make us who we are, and without them, life would be unbearable. A friend is a treasure, a gift from God, and you can't have too many of them. They should never be taken for granted. They are there in the best of times, but, more importantly, they never let us down in the worst of times, when we need them the most. Into the Tangle of Friendship makes us take a fresh look at some of the most important people in our lives. It also gives us a new appreciation for those we call friend. |