Fine
Dining Madness
The rules & realities of fine dining
By John
Galloway
You've
read Anthony Bourdain and know the secret behind brunch seafood frittatas.
Is it now safe to dip your toe into the fine dining waters? Not until
you've met John Galloway, penguin (waiter) extraordinaire, and your
guide from the front of the house, where the capital E Experience
occurs that is the difference between fine dining and just eating
well. Mr. Galloway
tells a bit about himself, then starts in on what to do and not
do, using edged humor to drive the points home. For example, don't
name drop. You look like a chump, flag yourself as a probable demanding
customer who's a low tipper, and if you're faking it risk possibilities
such as 'naming' the long deceased: "Is he here tonight?" " Well
possibly in a metaphysical way...". Most of all, don't play nasty
with a professional waiter - someone who "has a black belt in atonement"
and "a code of honor" about inflicting suffering on those who inflict
it on him.
Amusing and useful
stuff, but the best part is Mr. Galloway's sketches of his customers,
co-workers, and experiences, told with wit and style. He can bring
a co-worker to vivid life as "a dark sky full of angry clouds bound
within the flesh of a madman" as readily as raise an appreciative
grin at noting that "a handful of motivated bacteria could break
down the entrée faster" than some unconscionably slow diners (don't
rush, but don't deny a waiter his due from a reasonable turnover).
Sure, Fine
Dining Madness will teach you the rules, but read it to enjoy
the author's company on a frequently riotous, usually profane insider's
view behind the scenes. It's a lot of fun, including the contrasting
cover illustrations, with the author in full penguin mode (and a
carefully blank look that says he's had far too much to drink, is
hiding thoughts about the customer in front of him, or both) and
conspicuous consumption icons on the front, while the back displays
the grin you can imagine telling the stories paired with images
from the realities. Highly recommended for learning and laughs,
and doing a bit of good, since a portion of the proceeds go to Alzheimer's
research.
|
The
Book |
iUniverse |
April 5, 2005 |
Hardcover |
0595670067 |
Non-Fiction Miscellaneous |
More
at Amazon.com |
Excerpt |
NOTE: A lot of sex, but constant references (my euphemism horizon has been vastly and amusingly
broadened) rather than detailed descriptions. A fair amount of swearing
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