Bubbles Betrothed

By Sarah Strohmeyer

   Bubbles Yablonsky would give anything to be married to Steve Stiletto, hunky AP photographer who doesn't mind hanging out with her domineering uber-Slavic-Baltic mother, LuLu Yablonsky (the working-class version of Susan McBride's Cissy Blevins Kendricks), LuLu's musket-wielding cohort Genevieve, and News-Times anger-management-challenged photographer Lorena Ludwig.

  When Steve proposes, Bubbles' joy gets deflated faster than a jelly donut when she realizes it's all a scam to land Steve a plum assignment in England. Granted, Steve's nice enough to plunk a Harry Winston rock on Bubbles' finger…trouble is, the police want to clamp Bubbles in chains after her exclusive interview with Julia Simon, a.k.a. Crazy Popeye, culminates in Julia's death. Julia's accused of killing a beloved high school principal who had a complicated romantic life involving a local podiatrist, her supposed Polish Mafioso boyfriend who LuLu thinks has been ruined by too much Dr. Spock, and the detective who gives new meaning to "three's a crowd."

    Another day at the office and at the hair salon for stylist-turned-journalist Bubbles.

     As usual, Bubbles' hometown of Lehigh, Pennyslvania, simmers with subplots from a bevy of intriguing characters. Brainy chip-off-the-old-Bubbles Jane seeks Ivy League admission while still hanging around with semi-loser boyfriend G, but as usual Bubbles' investigations make Jane's college worries seem as cheerful as an overcast day in Lehigh. There's Karol Smolak, Polish Mafioso, who's taking anger management classes with Lorena. There's Steve's wanna-be kissin' cousin Rosa who argues with LuLu over the merits of a Bubbles-Stiletto wedding in Italy versus one with scrapple, boombas and pierogis at the Polish-American Club. And of course, Bubbles' ex-husband Dan "Call me Chip" Ritter complicates Bubbles' life, first with requests to bail him out of a weensy extortion jam, second with a marriage proposal that has Dan's second wife, cheeseball heiress Wendy, running for the door with Steve's rival Chad Kent in tow. Don't bother to keep track of the craziness, and don't second-guess the power of tube tops and a great hairdo. For a supposed dumb blonde, Bubbles proves herself the sharpest pair of manicure scissors in the drawer, and a delightfully feminist feminine heroine.