The Mate Map (Review No. 2)
The Right Tool for Choosing the Right Mate
By Steven Sacks 

      The last thing any of us associate with "mating" is structure. We generally prefer to fall in love and enjoy it, then double-check our compatibility if we decide the person might be interesting for a long-term relationship. That is exactly the way NOT to build a long-term relationship, according to Steven Sacks, author of The Mate Map.

     The Mate Map suggests that mates should be chosen using a structure that starts with a vision of what we want, and continues by separating "love", "personality fit" and "magnetism" for analytical purposes.

      Perhaps the most interesting piece of advice Sacks offers is to beware of extreme similarities and extreme differences. We hear that "opposites attract," but that doesn't mean they make good partners. We also know that people with many things in common have a basis for a relationship, but too much similarity can also cause things to break down. For instance, two leaders will be constantly stepping on each others' toes, whereas two indecisive people will never reach a decision.

     Sacks draws his credibility from a real life "Mate Map Study", and he recounts the successes of that study right up front.

      This is one of the better books on relationships, since it focuses less on telling people how to find a mate and more on how to decide if the person is right for you. However, true romantics might have some difficulty relating to the almost scientific analysis that Sacks puts readers through. As a reviewer not looking for a mate, I found much of the latter half of the book tough reading, so I would recommend reading only the second section until you actually have someone to evaluate.