The Relationship Handbook
By Jan S. Maizler 

The author of The Relationship Handbook is Jan Stephen Maizler. He has degrees in MSW, ASCW, and LSCW and has been in a private practice since 1980. He has specialized in individual, marital, family and group psychotherapy. His has also written and published over 70 articles.

The Relationship Handbook focuses on the relationship between individual responsibility and human growth. In the book, relationship is defined as an arrangement between two people where the terms of the arrangement are generally understood. This book basically focuses on the relationships of deep friendship and love.

     Jan believes that there are three stages. Stage one is the readiness for a relationship; two, interpersonal relationships; and three, how to create and maintain healthy functional relationships.

      The book emphasizes that relationships must be prepared to experience change, are not unconditional and take work. The newness will wear off a relationship and the courtship times will end. By retraining before this time, relationships will flourish instead of flounder. Couples should be encouraged to learn all they can about one another.

     There are also suggestions on how to avoid or resolve conflicts. Some of these suggestions are as simple as know when pick your own battles and when to keep your mouth shut. Others are more complicated, such as know when to realize that you are powerless, watch your nonverbal behavior and stop repeating yourself.

     Mr. Maizler's book is very precise and technical in its language. At the beginning of the book, I was fearful that this would hinder my understanding and keep me from absorbing the information in the book. However, I soon began to get the gist of the pages and found myself agreeing with many passages. There are many ways to evaluate what type of relationship you are in and how to make your relationships stronger and more enduring.