Date: September 2002
Reviewed: Trade Paperback
it at Amazon
NonFiction / Self Help
By Jan S.
The author of The Relationship Handbook
is Jan Stephen Maizler. He has degrees in MSW, ASCW, and LSCW and
has been in a private practice since 1980. He has specialized in
individual, marital, family and group psychotherapy. His has also
written and published over 70 articles.
The Relationship Handbook focuses on the relationship between
individual responsibility and human growth. In the book, relationship
is defined as an arrangement between two people where the terms
of the arrangement are generally understood. This book basically
focuses on the relationships of deep friendship and love.
Jan believes that there are three
stages. Stage one is the readiness for a relationship; two, interpersonal
relationships; and three, how to create and maintain healthy functional
The book emphasizes that relationships
must be prepared to experience change, are not unconditional and
take work. The newness will wear off a relationship and the courtship
times will end. By retraining before this time, relationships will
flourish instead of flounder. Couples should be encouraged to learn
all they can about one another.
There are also suggestions on how
to avoid or resolve conflicts. Some of these suggestions are as
simple as know when pick your own battles and when to keep your
mouth shut. Others are more complicated, such as know when to realize
that you are powerless, watch your nonverbal behavior and stop repeating
Mr. Maizler's book is very precise
and technical in its language. At the beginning of the book, I was
fearful that this would hinder my understanding and keep me from
absorbing the information in the book. However, I soon began to
get the gist of the pages and found myself agreeing with many passages.
There are many ways to evaluate what type of relationship you are
in and how to make your relationships stronger and more enduring.