audiobook claims to be about philosophy rather than presenting
a personal memoir or guidebook for the lovelorn. It’s
actually a little of all three: the author shares her philosophy
of life, love, and politics, while providing snippets from
her personal past and suggestions for navigating the “patriarchal
oppression” of the dating world.
The author, a 20-something writer for New Yorker and Onion,
who also narrates the book, shares her feminist views of love
and sex with humor and self-deprecation. She reveals that
she’s never actually had what she considers a date or
a boyfriend, but admits to pleasant nights of “boinking.”
She blames the toxic political environment and culture of
misogamy for women’s inability to find decent men. Even
the romantic comedy movies she cites throughout the book offer
severely flawed men that women are supposed to crave as idealized
The book is divided into eight chapters: crushes, flirting,
dating, psychic wounds, getting serious, breaking up, being
single, and making art (i.e., using one’s failed love
life as inspiration for art, ala Taylor Swift). The author
says that women are punished for this last pursuit, even though
it’s a perfectly natural means of processing the experience.
“Women were raised to think about love all the time,”
so it’s no surprise the end of a love affair can be
devastating for many women.
The tone of this work is decidedly snarky. There’s little
true insight into love, lust, relationships, or the white
male privilege that surfaces frequently throughout the book.
This is lightweight humor – a young woman commiserating
with other millennials – about confusing situations
that will make sense when the author is older.