Another Review at MyShelf.Com

How to Date Men When You Hate Men
BY Blythe Roberson

Macmillan Audio
January 2019/ ASIN: B07FYQMKB1

Reviewed by Leslie C. Halpern


This audiobook claims to be about philosophy rather than presenting a personal memoir or guidebook for the lovelorn. It’s actually a little of all three: the author shares her philosophy of life, love, and politics, while providing snippets from her personal past and suggestions for navigating the “patriarchal oppression” of the dating world.

The author, a 20-something writer for New Yorker and Onion, who also narrates the book, shares her feminist views of love and sex with humor and self-deprecation. She reveals that she’s never actually had what she considers a date or a boyfriend, but admits to pleasant nights of “boinking.” She blames the toxic political environment and culture of misogamy for women’s inability to find decent men. Even the romantic comedy movies she cites throughout the book offer severely flawed men that women are supposed to crave as idealized masculinity.

The book is divided into eight chapters: crushes, flirting, dating, psychic wounds, getting serious, breaking up, being single, and making art (i.e., using one’s failed love life as inspiration for art, ala Taylor Swift). The author says that women are punished for this last pursuit, even though it’s a perfectly natural means of processing the experience. “Women were raised to think about love all the time,” so it’s no surprise the end of a love affair can be devastating for many women.

The tone of this work is decidedly snarky. There’s little true insight into love, lust, relationships, or the white male privilege that surfaces frequently throughout the book. This is lightweight humor – a young woman commiserating with other millennials – about confusing situations that will make sense when the author is older.

Reviewed 2019